Posts Tagged ‘college humor’

NEWS!: Students Protest the Rise of Student Protests

January 2, 2009

Following a recent US News and World Report survey tracking the rise of campus activism, many Christian college students have taken to the streets to protest the “unchristianly divisive” practice of student protesting. Whether it’s global warming, global poverty, or African AIDS, left-swinging students can’t seem to get enough dissension on campus.

Christians, like Mary Davies, just can’t understand this derision. “Why can’t students accept the world the way God created it?” asks Davies, a library fiend and senior at Calvin. “Are we really to think that our plans for creation, or the poor, are better than God’s?” (more…)

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A word on the incomprehensible, inexplicable laziness of the single, adult, male

September 24, 2008

After making a three year incursion into the third decade, I can state unequivocally that being a single male between the age of 18 and 30 is one of the most catastrophically unhealthy decisions a person can make. Now please, don’t assume I’m talking about the usual binge drinking, smoking, and sexing depicted on The OC, Gossip Girl, and the news. Yes, these hobbies – along with Tivo and microwave dinners – are destroying an entire generation of Americans, but what terrifies me is an entirely different threat. While much is made of the considerable effort young men invest in shortening their lives, far more dangerous is the stupefying and awe-inspiring laziness that single men are capable of. To put it simply, we will die young because we expend no effort to keep ourselves alive.

It is impossible to overstate the lethargy that my generation is capable of. Truly, it defies credulity and the furthest reaches of the imagination. If it weren’t for the civilizing effects of Christian marriage, I am convinced that none of us would live to see thirty. Temporary fixes like jobs, and visits from mom can force short bursts of exertion, but they do not touch the languid gene that controls the minds and limbs of my peers. Allow me to cite some unsubstantiated, anecdotal evidence to affirm this. (more…)