Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Mommy, Wow! We’re Big Kids Now! (We’ve Moved…)

January 5, 2009

Friends, Family, Stalkers:

The moment has finally come. For those of you who’ve been with us since we first launched here on wordpress (which amounts to me, Kent, and our parents), you may remember that we originally called it “The Talking Mirror’s Transitional Home.” That’s because we never intended to be on wordpress.com permanently. And finally, thanks to some generous help from our good friend Isaac, we have a legitimate website at a legitimate domain: www.thetalkingmirror.com

So, if you’re prone to reminiscing or romanticizing the past, you can keep coming back here to the wordpress.com site. Maybe browse through some articles that you love, remembering where you were, who you were with, or the food and drink you spat out all over your laptop when you laughed. We encourage you to remember the good old days. And, moreover, we encourage you to remember us as funnier and better looking than we actually are. They’re your memories, why not make them better than crappy reality? It’s just an idea. However, you can also thumb through those magical memories over at the new site, as all of the old content is there including your comments from days past.

Kent and I are quite happy to finally be moving over to a legitimate site. It’s been a long time coming, as many of my friends can attest, having heard me piss and moan about it for months. The new site delivers a sleeker look, more pictures, easier navigation, and some new features still to come. A little preview: a word that starts with “V” and rhymes with “schmideo.” And we’re also planning on peddling merchandise to you, likely at prices that will make us millionares.

So, if you want any new content you’re going to have to go there. This wordpress site will now be ignored like the uglier, dumber child that it is.

Thanks to everyone that has been a part of The Talking Mirror so far. We look forward to bringing you sardonic, hyperbolic, semi-offensive content forever and ever, Amen.

Patriotically,

Conor and Kent

An Open Letter to the Assembled Law Enforcement Officers of the Various States I Have Visited or Resided in

December 11, 2008

Good evening officers and officerettes,

I think you will all agree when I say that something has gone terribly awry in this relationship.  Over the past six years, I have had impromptu and involuntary rendezvous with nearly all of you.  These little get-togethers usually begin poorly and inevitably end even worse.  In fact, I believe I am no longer on speaking terms with several of you.  But alas, after a half decade of court costs, license restrictions, and memorizing every word of a certain N.W.A. song, I’ve grown weary of our bickering.  Let’s put an end to this discord between us and bury the hatchet once and for all (I, of course, mean that in the most non-homicidal way possible).

While the lion’s share of the blame undoubtedly rests on you people – what with your coercing me to the side of the highway, forcibly entering my place of residence, appropriating my hard-earned American currency, etc – I am willing, in the spirit of reconciliation, to admit to my own failures as a citizen.

For one, my normal style of driving is comparable in many ways to one who is fantastically drunk.  In truth, I am usually only a bit tipsy.  Also, I live in a house surrounded by 80 year olds with preternaturally sensitive ears.  Correlating criminal activities include: remaining awake in my home later than ten o’clock p.m., and occasionally having four or five visitors in my home at the same time.  Additionally, these guests may from time to time speak to one another at volumes louder than a whisper. (more…)