Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category

Review: The Good Book – Abundant Drama, Ending Over-the-Top and Depressing

November 30, 2008

It’s the biggest best-seller the world has ever known and I had heard alot about it, so I figured I’d read a literary classic.  No, not Twilight (great read though), I’m talking about the Bible.

First of all, I was surprised by the gratuitous sex, booze, and blood that filled the first several chapters.  This mature content was completely inconsistent with the family friendly book that it professes to be (as indicated by the cute suburban family that adorned the book’s covered).

The second surprise was how hodge-podge the storylines were.  The author ties in multiple narratives, with each adding to the book’s larger mosaic.  This collage effect, however, is probably the book’s biggest weakness since it creates confusion and lacks fluidity.  The first and second half of the book are completely disjointed, and editorial influence lacks throughout, as evidenced by its voluminous length.  At one point, the author gets so desperate for material that he starts off the second half by repeating the same story four times under different male names. (more…)

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The Best Kept Secret of the Church Scene (you probably wouldn’t like it)

November 20, 2008

By Dillinger Leevi – An Indie Kid

Every Sunday morning, I go to the Church of the Horsefly and the Absence (CHA).  What?  You haven’t heard of it?  Yeah, most people haven’t.  It’s not really your typical church.  I mean, it’s just so different.  You probably wouldn’t like it.

My friend Radclyffe and I totally discovered it one Sunday, after picking up the latest Radiohead album (and paying for it).  We just got so fed up with what American capitalism has done to the church scene.  Everything is so generic, and it’s all about the money.  CHA isn’t making any money, but that doesn’t matter because they love what they do.  They have a voice that needs to be heard.

The worship at CHA is so unconventional.  It’s like…well, it doesn’t really have a genre.  But if I had to compare it to something, it would probably be a combination of The Fleet Foxes, Elliott Smith, Vampire Weekend, I’m From Barcelona, M. Ward, Ratatat, Neutral Milk Hotel, Seabear, and Bright Eyes (before “I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning”).  I guess you could say it’s, like, experimental/post-tribal/anti-folk/electronica.  And the worship leader’s voice is totally unpolished, which just makes the worship that much more authentic. (more…)

Review: Wendy’s is the best food I have ever tasted and I never want to eat anywhere else

November 20, 2008

By Will Grazer – TTM Food Critic

Dude, drive faster, drive faster! There it is! Don’t miss the turn!!

OH YEAH!!!!!!! I FREAKING LOVE WEDNESDAYS!!!

Right. Wendy’s. What’d I say?

Oh.

Well, all I’m sayin is…Wait…wait…hold on a sec, I wanna, I wanna say something……wait…is this…….is this Taco Bell? Oh. I thought someone said chalupa. Did someone say chalupa?

Whatever. Pull forward idiot, I’m gonna order. Geez, why do they make the dollar menu so blurry? HELLO!!!!! Oh, sorry I thought you wasn’t there. Ok. Are you ready? HELLO!!!! Sorry. Shut up dude, I’m not drunk. He’s kidding, Miss Wendy, I’m really not drunk. Really.

Ok…ok, can I have four junior baco-cheeseses, a six piece nuglet, uhhhhhh frostie, and…uhhhhhhhhhh…that’s it. NO! WAIT! Wait, wait…Wendy…are you, are you still there? Ok. Also a double stack with no pickles. And then whatever else these homos want. (more…)

Review – I saw “24: Ex Nihilo” and it was good

October 27, 2008

According to a Fox Network spokesman, the most patriotic network has recently completed work on a spin off of the popular action drama, 24. In an effort to gain an even stronger hold on the conservative evangelical demographic, the official network for the Republican Party set out to create a series that affirmed a literal creation in six 24 hour days.

The show, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and Dr. James Dobson, is entitled 24: Ex Nihilo and stars Keifer Sutherland as Jack Bauer, the only begotten nephew of God. The show, slated for six seasons, will tell the story of Jack Bauer thwarting attempts by various parties to destroy creation. (more…)

Some News in Review

October 16, 2008

I’ve heard a lot of crap about The New York Times being biased toward the “left” side of things. I usually don’t pay attention to that, really. I don’t live in New York and I don’t care about their Times. This article, however, has me fully convinced that The New York Times isn’t biased toward the left side, but rather the dumb as hell side.

It’s an article from their “Style and Fashion” section about dudes that love cats. Single dudes that love cats, more specifically. Contrary to stereotypes of single straight men with cats, the article attempts to portray these cat loving dudes as completely legit, secure, pillars of masculinity. They begin their exposition by giving us the example of a 37 year old guy who lives alone with his cat who loves video games and comics. He also ended his relationship with a woman because she was allergic to cats. He refers to his cat by saying “she’s my primary relationship.” Ladies, are you sold yet? Yeah, this guy is the man.

They then go on to quote a lady who makes a correlation between liking cats and being more highly evolved. It’s these less evolved “members of the species,” she says, that tend to abusing cats, women, and children. She must be some kind of evolutionary psychologist right? Some kind of expert on men, evolution, and animal preferences? “Definitely not!” says The New York Times, “We’d rather quote the founder of Petsweekly.com, a Ms. Stacy Mantle who owns a modest 18 cats.” Notice that she’s Ms. Mantle. They quote a cat lady about men. Real legit, NYT. Solid gold.

They go on to quote a survey that asked readers if real men owned cats or not. A whopping 84 percent said yes. Wow, impressive right? I mean, that’s a lot of percents. One of the respondents even went as far as to say “Only intelligent, aware, caring men love cats.” Dang, that cuts us dog lovers deep. I don’t love cats, I must be stupid, oblivious and selfish. Where did that survey come from, anyway? Oh, that makes sense. It came from Petplace.com. Who the hell responds to surveys on Petplace.com? Probably the same kind of people that start websites like Petsweekly.com. That’s right. Cat ladies. (more…)